Parenting: Tips That Don’t Work
In childhood, we are sure that we are educated correctly. But when we have to raise our own children, the advice of parents suddenly turns out to be outdated and useless. The methods used to educate you seem dangerous and terrifying when it comes to your child. Some tips for raising children today are really outdated, and they should not be used in the education of the modern generation.
Many young parents are puzzled by how to raise their children the way they want to see them. Relatives who like to give advice on any occasion do not always offer the best methods. What seems natural to them seems absurd to you. Some of these tips may seem outdated to you, and some may just be outrageous.
If you cannot escape the meaningless advice of relatives about raising children, just ignore them. If this is not possible, politely say that these tips are not suitable for you.
Consider a few outdated tips that do not work with modern children.
Use corporal punishment to discipline a child
Definitely, this cannot be done. Today, this method is not only ineffective, but also unacceptable. There are many good ways to discipline a child, and none of them involve corporal punishment or verbal abuse. Children will learn better if you provide them with a good example, instead of scolding or punishing them.
Applying corporal punishment, you make it clear to the child that physical force can be used if the other person doesn’t do what you think you are and increase the likelihood that the child will grow up to be a bully.
When a child refuses to eat vegetables, show him an example. Reinforce the child’s good behavior and ignore the bad. Do not focus on the bad deeds of the child and do not pay attention to the good. This is the wrong strategy. Children are smart, so give them the opportunity to learn and understand the world around them for a long time. If the child does not obey you the first time, do not lose your temper. Repeat your requirements and see what happens in a few weeks. If this method still does not work, talk seriously with the child and explain to him the benefits of what you are proposing to him to do. In the end, the child will understand the benefits. Use punishment only as a last resort. Punishment will always cause the child anger and frustration. Do not try to teach your child anything when you yourself are in a bad mood.
Sometimes close relatives (for example, grandparents) allow themselves to slap a child. In this case, it is worth telling them that this should not be done. In an extreme case, you can limit the contact of such relatives with the child.
Always be strict with the baby
Be strict, but not always. If you show strictness in the requirements that the child goes to bed every day on time, this is normal. But sometimes you can let your child go to bed later than usual during the weekend. Small concessions make the child understand that you do not mind letting the child something, but only in limited quantities. This means that you do not always deny the needs of the child, that you are ready for dialogue in the future. This way the child will be less likely to break the rules behind your back.
Do not allow your child to be angry with parents
There is nothing wrong with letting your child show emotions (even anger). Teach your child to express emotions constructively and guide them in the right direction. If a child is angry with you for something, try to understand what caused it. Analyze your actions. Having understood that you were wrong in something, apologize. If the child is not angry with you, but with another person, give him good advice and provide all possible assistance. Do not ignore the feelings of the child and do not yell at him, as parents who adhere to outdated methods of education sometimes do.
Children have feelings that you must respect, but at the same time you need to know what causes them anger. This does not mean that you are obligated to encourage child tantrums. You should explain to him that he can discuss with you situations that cause him difficult feelings, even if these situations are related to you. If you ignore the feelings of the child, in the future you will simply stop communicating with him.
Make the child eat up everything on the plate
Conservative parents teach children not to waste food and eat up everything on the plate. On the one hand, this is correct. But you should also teach the child to listen to his body and understand when he ate. Do not expect the child to eat the same servings as you. Agree with the child that he will eat everything, but at the same time he will determine the size of his portion. Explain to your child that you should not put more food on your plate than he needs.