What should parents not do with teens?
The life of a teenager is similar to a roller coaster: new life events lead either to emotional descents, or to ascents. If, when raising a teenager, the parents are too friendly or too strict, this can accustom the child to improper behavior. In the end, he may begin to make the wrong life decisions. Parents have a difficult task – to create a balance between good behavior and the difficulties of adolescence that accompany the maturation of their child.
Of course, you wish your child only happiness. But you must also understand that now the child must learn to cope with life’s difficulties on his own. However, this does not mean that you need to let him get out of control. Therefore, in striving to become ideal parents, we often make mistakes that can adversely affect our relationships with children.
Consider a few things to avoid when dealing with a teenager.
1. Protect your child from disappointment
We wish our children a prosperous and happy life and do not want to see disappointment on their faces. Therefore, we try to prevent the occurrence of problems and make children be careful. But this is the wrong way to teach a child to cope with life’s difficulties. By doing so, you do not allow your son or daughter to gain life experience.
Remember that life is the best teacher. If your children are mistaken, they learn from this lesson and no longer repeat the corresponding actions. You must instill independence in your child so that he can make decisions in the future.
2. Be too lenient
As parents of adolescents, you try to be friendlier in the hope that your child will share with you all the details of his life. To achieve this, you can be overly gentle and let the child do whatever he wants. However, this is the wrong approach: your child is not old enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. You can become a friend to your child to help him make the right decisions in life. But for this you also need to maintain a balance between firmness and friendliness.
3. Do not pay enough attention to the teenager
Perhaps you think that now that the child has entered adolescence, you do not need to spend as much time with him as before. It may seem to your child that you are too grumpy and therefore you should not spend all your time with you. But as soon as he encounters a problem, he turns to you first of all. Involve your child in family decisions: this will teach him responsibility.
4. Ask the teacher for student ratings
Your child is immersed in activities typical of teenage life. Therefore, he may have problems at school. But, if you too often and without special reasons ask teachers about his performance, this can confuse the child. Because of this, he can become the object of ridicule classmates. If you want to learn about the progress of a teenager – ask him directly. If he has any problems with his studies, help him understand the reasons for poor performance, but do not punish him.
5. Choose a teenager career
You can often see how parents try to realize their unsatisfied ambitions with the help of their children. Should not be doing that. Your desires may differ from the desires of your children. You cannot choose a career instead of a teenager. He must decide what he wants to do in life and what to achieve. All you can do is support the teenager and give him good advice.
6. Speaking on behalf of a teenager
When a teenager is in school or university, you must let him solve life problems on his own. Do not speak for the teenager and do not make decisions for him. Understand that the time has come for the child to have his own opinion and become independent.
7. Use lies to save
Many mothers use lies to protect their children. It’s even a habit for them. They think that the main thing is to protect the child from any punishment. However, it is necessary that the teenager is faced with the consequences of his actions. If he did something wrong, he must correct the situation. Make it clear to the child that he is fully responsible for his actions – and in the future he will be more careful.