How to help a child who is very worried
Emotions rule our lives. However, in order to take them under control, it is necessary to learn to recognize them. For example, if you learn to trust strange bodily sensations, you can avoid a bad situation.
Children under 6 years old need your help to cope with their emotions.
An early emotional experience helps children understand their feelings. If you encourage the child to display joy, this becomes part of his personality. If you respect the emotions of the child as his unique traits, this will contribute to his development and teach him to respect his emotions. And, on the contrary, not allowing the child to develop, the parents cause him resentment and anger. If parents ignore the emotions of the child, thinking that it will help him to control, and also teach him to suppress feelings, the child does not sufficiently develop his emotional intelligence.
Parents of preschoolers should be especially sensitive to the emotional needs of their children and understand that excessive feelings can harm them. Studies show that strong experiences damage the developing brain, causing a disorder called the “acute stress response” that adversely affects a child’s social development. Since the child’s nervous system is constantly evolving, it is almost impossible to notice that experiences affect its development.
Parents are somewhat similar to orchestra conductors. With their attitude to the child, they can weaken or strengthen his emotions. If adults do not follow the interests of the child, but regularly upset him, he becomes anxious.
Children cannot independently, without the help of adults, control their emotional manifestations. Parents should teach the child to calm his emotions. The younger the child, the more help he needs. This does not mean that parents just need to punish the child for bad behavior, “so that he behaves well.” No, the development of the child is different. By punishing him, you will only suppress his development.
Let’s go back to the story of Anna. The child in the store signaled that he was very worried, and his mother ignored him. Psychologists call this immunity. The responsiveness of parents to children leads to emotional attachment, contributes to the development of high mental abilities and the formation of such moral qualities as empathy, self-control and conscience.
Sasha’s behavior may be due to the fact that he was taken from something that he showed interest in. It could have caused his anger. On the other hand, he could be upset that his mother ignores his experiences – perhaps she felt embarrassed or thought that if she did not pay attention to the situation, then the child would calm down faster. Or maybe mom took away an expensive toy from Sasha and feels that she did the right thing. In any case, the mother was not focused on the child’s need for help, but on something else.
So what do adults do to calm a child?
Our children grow up in a society where relationships are built on responsiveness. This has developed over many centuries. Society has always supported mothers and their children. Children developed well, feeling care. If the parents were busy with something, there was always someone close to whom the child could turn for help. Today in many developed countries this tradition is broken.
In terms of development, modern children suffer from a lack of public support. It strengthens the feeling of involvement in the child and inspires confidence in the world around him.
But what can adults do in modern conditions?
A child cannot contact an outsider in the store for help. But it can be comforted indirectly. A suffering child needs someone to be with him.
If you witnessed a similar situation, you can do so. First contact your child’s mother and say that you are worried about the child and want to calm him down. When approved, tell your child in a calm voice: “Everything is in order. Everything will be fine”. Then contact your mother again and explain how the child feels: “The child cannot calm down without your help. Calm him down. He feels abandoned. Your communication and touch will help him calm down. ”
Usually, parents who cannot cope with a crying baby listen to this advice and start to behave differently.