What a two year old baby really understands
Svetlana, the mother of two-year-old Julia, says: “When my little daughter was ill with digestive disorders, I worked remotely. Usually, when a daughter is ill, she does not become less energetic and plays as much as usual. At such times, I could not work. But this time it was not so. My daughter felt unwell and just wanted to sit on my lap. I really liked it, and I was not at all worried about getting infected from her. In addition, I decided to take this opportunity and work. I took out my work laptop.
However, after some time, my daughter closed my laptop with the words: “Stop working, mom.” She felt that she was not getting enough of my attention and just wanted to sit on my lap so that nothing would distract me from her — not a laptop, not a mobile phone, or anything else. And then I realized how often my husband and I, spending time with my daughter, are distracted by checking our page on social networks or completing some work tasks. ”
Svetlana asked herself how to change this behavior of her daughter: “We talked with her husband and agreed that we should show a good example to our daughter. And it must be continuous work, day after day. We remind each other if one of us goes too far into work to the detriment of our relationship with Yulia, is distracted by a mobile phone while talking with her, raises her voice or behaves badly. And this has a positive effect on our daughter. With almost no reminder, she says “please” and “thank you”. When someone sneezes, she says “be healthy”, when she needs to go through – “allow”, and even comes up to pat me on the back and ask if everything is alright with me when I cough.
I also had to pay a lot of attention to our relatives, friends and teachers in kindergarten, that is, people with whom my daughter spends a lot of time. I explained that we were trying to set a good example for our daughter, and I asked them to also monitor their words and tone of voice when they talk to her. Of course, we ourselves cannot always control ourselves, but relatives and friends support us in this and also try to control ourselves. Even kindergarten teachers try to set an example of good behavior. ”
So what does a two year old really understand? Is it so small, as is commonly believed?
The child understands much more than we think. For example, parents should closely monitor what they say in the presence of the child, because he understands all their words. The child also sees when parents, playing with him, are distracted by work or a mobile phone. However, he cannot always correctly explain what is happening and express his needs. Therefore, in such cases, he, for example, closes the laptop, becomes hysterical or begins to scatter toys on the floor. When something like this happens, parents should ask themselves: what caused this behavior of their baby? When asking themselves such a question, parents often, to their surprise, realize that they themselves provoked the child to such behavior. The child was trying to get their attention, and they were busy with their mobile phone or something else. It is also possible that parents raised their voices on the child, being upset because of something completely unrelated to him. Most often, you can find a similar reason for this behavior of the child.
Svetlana says that her daughter does not always see different situations in the same way as she and her husband: “Recently, the three of us were driving in a car. My husband and I were talking, and the daughter suddenly said: “Stop!” We were surprised, but soon realized that the conversation, which seemed normal with my husband, seemed like a dispute to my daughter. And she told us to stop shouting at each other. We explained to her that we did not argue, but sometimes we talk so enthusiastically that we begin to speak too loudly. But at the same time, I was pleased that my daughter told us to stop, and not silently adopted our model of behavior. ”
“I understand that, most likely, the good manners that we instill in our daughter will change when she gets older,” says Svetlana. “But I’m glad that my husband and I are doing everything possible to create a solid foundation for the development of our daughter’s good manners and self-awareness.” To instill good manners in a child is not an easy job, but the best way to do this is to set a good example for the child. Just looking at the situation from the outside, we realized that it is worth paying more attention to our own behavior, and not to attribute all the child’s bad behavior to a “terrible two year old”.