What parents should not tell their daughter
It is extremely important for a little girl what her parents think and say about her. Parents for a girl are the whole world, and therefore, if they say something bad about her, she takes it to heart. These words remain with her for many years. In adolescence, girls perceive all words many times more sharply than usual, and any frustrating commentary can make her see herself in an unsightly light. This often lowers the girl’s self-esteem.
Even adults don’t like it when their parents are lenient or challenging their opinions. From parents we need advice, but not harsh criticism.
Fortunately, many modern mothers have already abandoned the obsolete ways of raising girls, which they raised themselves. However, parents still often make mistakes in raising their daughters without even realizing the harm that they do. Parents do not understand that their language is the worst weapon they use against their daughters.
Consider 10 common phrases that can harm girls and which parents should refuse.
“Dress like a girl”
Some parents subconsciously project gender stereotypes on their daughters. This usually starts with a dressing style. Your daughter may not like dresses with ruffles or beautiful skirts that you like. She may like jeans and t-shirts. Imposing a daughter on any style of clothing does more harm than good. She has her own tastes, and they need to be appreciated.
“Girls Don’t Do That / Boys Do It”
If your girl likes to play soccer, basketball or other games that boys usually play, do not rush to tell her that this activity is not for girls. Do not discourage your daughter from doing activities in which she can succeed, just because you think these are activities for boys. In the modern world, everyone, regardless of gender, nationality or ethnicity, can do what he likes.
“Don’t Eat Too Much / You’re Fat”
Do not tell your daughter that she is overweight. Even if this is true, do not remind her of it. Offensive words about overweight girls can lead to anorexia and deep depression. Do not criticize your daughter’s external data, better teach her the rules of a healthy diet and teach her about physical activity.
“Girls must do makeup”
Some mothers are worried that their daughters start painting lips and eyelashes too early; some say girls should apply makeup before leaving home. Sometimes this is indirectly expressed in phrases: “By nature, you are not very beautiful, but cosmetics will help you correct deficiencies.” Just be grateful to your daughter for not putting kilograms of makeup on herself.
“Don’t Be So Rude / Shut Up”
Sometimes parents reproach the girls for defending their position, calling them rude. Thus, they make it clear to their daughters that they cannot have their own opinion and must accept everything with a smile and never argue.
“Don’t laugh too loudly”
If boys can laugh out loud, then why can’t girls? Do not impose such gender stereotypes on your daughter. Let her freely express her feelings and laugh heartily, the way she likes.
“Why can’t you be like her?”
Would you really like your daughter to be a different girl? Comparison is the worst thing you can do for your daughter. If you want her to grow self-confident, stop comparing her to friends, classmates or sisters.
“Do not pay attention”
If you advise your daughter to hide her true feelings only because neighbors, friends or relatives are nearby, she will feel even worse from this. If your daughter is angry for some reason, let her show it.
“What will people say?”
This phrase is often used by parents when their daughter chooses an unusual profession or hobby that seems strange to her parents. People tend to talk, and they can say what they want. Let your daughter do what she wants without worrying about other people’s opinions.
Finally, if your daughter comes to you for advice, listen to her and support her so that she does not tell you. The girl is experiencing a lot of emotional upheaval and needs your support, not criticism.